i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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