she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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