Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
