I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
