Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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