If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
