I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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