Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm so fucking centered right now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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