see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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