Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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