Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
