the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
