last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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