I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
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I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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