Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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