then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
