I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
