i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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