its not stalking. its research.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
