The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
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I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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