This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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