arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
