Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
