I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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