I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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