Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
