So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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