what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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