For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
