Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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  (850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot
  Replies (80) Good night (3910) Bad night (573)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  thats a woman

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  (709): she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her. (709): thats a woman http://tfl.nu/e6ls
  Replies (10) Good night (1161) Bad night (1755)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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  (973): I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like. http://tfl.nu/4kjo
  Replies (13) Good night (4696) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
  Replies (15) Good night (898) Bad night (3687) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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  (414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6
  Replies (32) Good night (6973) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3718) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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  (401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j
  Replies (12) Good night (749) Bad night (3422) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2271) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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  (310): Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine. http://tfl.nu/yujo
  Replies (5) Good night (655) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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  (812): Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing. http://tfl.nu/xrfi
  Replies (26) Good night (1838) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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  (941): I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head. http://tfl.nu/zqfr
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

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  (508): Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area http://tfl.nu/7yxw
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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  (+44): mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string. http://tfl.nu/2xqf
  Replies (15) Good night (414) Bad night (1656) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.

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  (412): I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all. http://tfl.nu/l8qc
  Replies (5) Good night (933) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.

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  (906): When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house. http://tfl.nu/xuce
  Replies (8) Good night (343) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt

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