The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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