Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter