i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
