you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
