you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
