I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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