is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
