i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
