What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize