9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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