D3 body, D1 cock
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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