Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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