Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
