Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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