I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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