if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
