i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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