Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
