So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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