my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
