they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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