Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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