There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Welp...herpes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize