The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
