Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
