billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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