My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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