Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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