Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Randomize