my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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