If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
NoShamevember. You game?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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